This isn’t bitterness, it’s boundary! You wrote what many feel but can’t name: how someone can praise the light they extinguished, then expect forgiveness without facing the fire. Your clarity is a kind of justice.
I truly understand. I’m moving through something similar right now, and that feeling of not being met emotionally, energetically, wholeheartedly, it can be so disorienting. It’s something I’ve wrestled with most of my adult life too, trying to understand why, and how to keep my heart open without losing myself.
I don’t have answers, but I do believe this: being someone who shows up with sincerity, care, and depth is not a liability, even if it’s felt like one. It’s a kind of beauty that not everyone knows how to hold, and it is rare, and it is valuable. You’re not losing. You’re learning what deserves you. 💕
Thank you for sharing this. Nobody even needs to feel guilty for all this to still be true. The deliberateness, the intentionality, the lack of consideration or care for you; guilty or not, none of that is mindful or kind. It's just ignorance, ignorance of the power of attachments, ignorance of the fact that you are the main character in your story the same way they are in theirs, ignorance of the fact that they essentially demanded you turn over control of the relationship to them and then watched as they ruined it and ran it into the ground; ignorance of the fact that if the relationship had been placed in your hands and under your control, the choices and asks you would have made would have been radically different, and likely fostered kindness and healing. And would not have even come close to doing the same thing they did. I've grappled with a feeling like this for nearly 20 years. The weird thing is I don't think the other person even feels guilty.
this was so beautifully said. the way you described the imbalance of control, and the ignorance of how much care we would’ve offered if given the chance, i felt every word. thank you for sharing this with so much clarity and honesty. it means a lot to feel understood like this. sending you love as you continue to hold and process all of it
Wow, been more than a year since my most significant relationship ended and this piece of writing still hits at the core of the heart. Thank you Maisa. You have a rare gift.
what you have written is powerful, raw and deeply expressive it’s not just a rejection; it’s a truth reckoning, you are drawing a firm line against manipulation, selective memory, and late-stage regret and that takes immense strength.
thank you so much. that means a lot to me. i think sometimes we’re taught to confuse grace with silence but this time i needed to be clear. no more making space for people’s regret when they didn’t make space for my care. it really was a reckoning, and i’m grateful it resonated with you
oooh I love how you worded that. sacred anger is exactly what it feels like. like finally choosing myself in a way that doesn’t need to be gentle or palatable. i really appreciate you taking the time to read and sit with it. means a lot
This! My ex and I broke up exactly a month ago today, and I still see him liking instagram posts about how much he loved me and posting "I should've been a better man" type songs on his story when the reason why we broke up was because after a month of not seeing each other, he stood me up on the day we were supposed to be together again and refused to call me to talk about it. I think you and I should consider ourselves lucky that we are able to still love so deeply and that someday someone else will be able to appreciate it! People being able to talk kindly about you after your relationship ends is a sign that you were caring and consistent and you deserve to be proud of yourself! It hurts when someone reopens the same old wounds, but we're going to be okay!
This is exactly how my mother feels about my father. Seeing this written from “her” perspective brought a lot of clarity to my own confusion. Thankyou, truly 🫶🏻
it means a lot to know these words helped you understand something that personal and layered. family dynamics can be so complex, especially when we grow up watching one person carry pain the other never even names. sending you and your mom so much love
This isn’t bitterness, it’s boundary! You wrote what many feel but can’t name: how someone can praise the light they extinguished, then expect forgiveness without facing the fire. Your clarity is a kind of justice.
I love how you worded that, thank u sm
"your clarity is a kind of justice" is so real.
I feel this deeply. Stay strong, lovely. Their loss, truly.
deep deep down I know that but somehow it feels like I’m always the one losing
I truly understand. I’m moving through something similar right now, and that feeling of not being met emotionally, energetically, wholeheartedly, it can be so disorienting. It’s something I’ve wrestled with most of my adult life too, trying to understand why, and how to keep my heart open without losing myself.
I don’t have answers, but I do believe this: being someone who shows up with sincerity, care, and depth is not a liability, even if it’s felt like one. It’s a kind of beauty that not everyone knows how to hold, and it is rare, and it is valuable. You’re not losing. You’re learning what deserves you. 💕
Sending so much warmth from Paris, lovely! x
Thank you for sharing this. Nobody even needs to feel guilty for all this to still be true. The deliberateness, the intentionality, the lack of consideration or care for you; guilty or not, none of that is mindful or kind. It's just ignorance, ignorance of the power of attachments, ignorance of the fact that you are the main character in your story the same way they are in theirs, ignorance of the fact that they essentially demanded you turn over control of the relationship to them and then watched as they ruined it and ran it into the ground; ignorance of the fact that if the relationship had been placed in your hands and under your control, the choices and asks you would have made would have been radically different, and likely fostered kindness and healing. And would not have even come close to doing the same thing they did. I've grappled with a feeling like this for nearly 20 years. The weird thing is I don't think the other person even feels guilty.
this was so beautifully said. the way you described the imbalance of control, and the ignorance of how much care we would’ve offered if given the chance, i felt every word. thank you for sharing this with so much clarity and honesty. it means a lot to feel understood like this. sending you love as you continue to hold and process all of it
The most beautiful crash out
Wow, been more than a year since my most significant relationship ended and this piece of writing still hits at the core of the heart. Thank you Maisa. You have a rare gift.
this post hurt like antiseptic in an open wound. maybe it'll start to scab now. thank you.
thank you for reading and for sitting with it, even when it stung
what you have written is powerful, raw and deeply expressive it’s not just a rejection; it’s a truth reckoning, you are drawing a firm line against manipulation, selective memory, and late-stage regret and that takes immense strength.
thank you so much. that means a lot to me. i think sometimes we’re taught to confuse grace with silence but this time i needed to be clear. no more making space for people’s regret when they didn’t make space for my care. it really was a reckoning, and i’m grateful it resonated with you
the audacity, indeed! beautiful piece, this is sacred anger, and self-love—so important to hold onto. thank you for the reminder and for sharing 🙏
oooh I love how you worded that. sacred anger is exactly what it feels like. like finally choosing myself in a way that doesn’t need to be gentle or palatable. i really appreciate you taking the time to read and sit with it. means a lot
This! My ex and I broke up exactly a month ago today, and I still see him liking instagram posts about how much he loved me and posting "I should've been a better man" type songs on his story when the reason why we broke up was because after a month of not seeing each other, he stood me up on the day we were supposed to be together again and refused to call me to talk about it. I think you and I should consider ourselves lucky that we are able to still love so deeply and that someday someone else will be able to appreciate it! People being able to talk kindly about you after your relationship ends is a sign that you were caring and consistent and you deserve to be proud of yourself! It hurts when someone reopens the same old wounds, but we're going to be okay!
Amazing insight. Stay peaceful and strong
I felt this with every bone in my body. Thank you articulated so well what I’ve struggled to put into words.
Incredible.
Damn good.
This spoke to me in so many levels, I could not help but feel like I knew these words, thank you for sharing.
thank you so much for reading. it means a lot to hear that the words felt familiar, like something you already knew, deep down
My God! I never thought I'd ever see my mind in words yet you do it every time. Your writing is enchanting.
omg I could cry 😭
writing like this always feels a little exposing, so to know it’s landing with people in their own stories too… that’s everything. thank you
This is exactly how my mother feels about my father. Seeing this written from “her” perspective brought a lot of clarity to my own confusion. Thankyou, truly 🫶🏻
it means a lot to know these words helped you understand something that personal and layered. family dynamics can be so complex, especially when we grow up watching one person carry pain the other never even names. sending you and your mom so much love