it feels so heavy and incomplete in a way and i find myself thinking about them more than i should, do i want to have what we used to? maybe but i think that this is better.
you have no idea how long i thought i was pathetic for feeling this way. knowing other people get it makes it feel a little less heavy. in my experience, i’ve come to realize this quiet distance might actually be better—softer, even if it stings sometimes.
I’ve never felt so seen by a post😭😭 a feeling that many don’t understand. A feeling that when expressed, it is met by assumptions that you miss or want that person back. Like no!! This person just has a deep absence in my life, it is such a strange space to be in when they pop into your head! I loved your use of the word static, that’s exactly what it is.
you get it. that exact feeling — the absence, not the longing. it’s so frustrating when people try to simplify it into ‘missing’ or ‘wanting them back’ when really, it’s just this weird emotional echo. i’m so glad the word static landed with you. thank you for this comment, i felt really seen in return ❤️
I think what makes that silence so intimate is that you're only left with your memories of that person. With no contact or social media you have no new memories or even fragments of moments to see them in a new life. You can only expect them to feel the same way about you as you do about them, but left wondering if they really do.
Yes, that’s it. You’re suspended in this timeless version of them, untouched by change. And in that stillness, you can’t help but wonder if they’re also paused in the same place with you, or if they’ve quietly moved on. Thanks for reading :)
This so perfectly describes how I feel about my most relevant ex, someone who had been my best friend for ten years before we tried dating and absolutely destroyed each other's hearts in the process. In the past years I've watched him block me, unblock me, reblock me, etc. What I've found is that, with these kind of relationships where there's this heavy, enforced silence, there's often a lot of psychic connection. I know he has no way to know about me and I have no way to know about him, and I also know that when he comes to my mind out of the blue, I'm tapping into a channel of communication that still exists between us. A psychic one. A painfully intimate one. Like I'm feeling him thinking about me and vice versa.
In a world of so much stimulation and noise, silence the way you described it is a symbol for something that once existed very, very loudly. I love the way you wrote this and it found me in the perfect moment. Thank you!
I’m so glad the piece met you at the right time. Sending softness as you continue to hold (and release) whatever that relationship left behind. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment ❤️
Wow, I've never heard someone else talk about this before, but yes, that's soo true about that psychic connection. I'm having the most weird coincidences with the person I no longer talk to.
So poetic and raw. I know about the intimacy between a version you remember and kept them in your memory as a secret that makes you full. You mourn the future of the relationship/friendship not the present nor the past. That platonic intimacy of memory and a part in a time. So beautiful, thank you for sharing!
wow… this captures it perfectly. it’s not about mourning what was, but what could’ve been — the quiet intimacy of a memory that only exists in your heart. i’m so happy you liked it and left such an amazing comment. thank you.
100% a valid take! Thank you for reframing silence as intimacy, this gives it a new lens that I’ve never considered before. I’m always in this limbo state of wondering about the other person more than I should be and I usually associate shame with it. This opens my eyes to how this is just another layer of intimacy that I’m experiencing, rather than the lack of in this stage of my life.
i’m so grateful that this perspective shifted something for you. silence really does hold its own kind of intimacy, not a lack, but a presence in its own way. thank you for letting me in on how this resonated for you.
Every time I feel just like this post the lyrics of a Taylor swift song echoes in my head, I can’t help but think if only between us did the love affair maim him too. This feeling eats me alive just because id like to know if he’s also feeling the depths of melancholy and intimacy by being apart from each other. I guess we’ll never know
That uncertainty is the cruelest part, isn’t it? Wondering if the ache is mutual or if you're dancing with ghosts alone. Some things stay unanswered but I think the depth of what you felt speaks volumes, even if they never do
thank you so much for writing this. I broke with my ex 3 months ago because he deeply broke my heart. and I don't miss him, I don't wanna talk to him, I don't wanna see him again, even though I don't hate him. but his absence still echoes in my life everyday. even though I feel and think I've made the right choice to live him because he didn't deserve all my love and devotion, when I sit at the sofa to watch an anime, I remember the time I loved him with all of my heart. i remember the way my heart used to smile everytime I looked him at the eyes and thought "you're mine. I love you so, my dear". I don't wanna move back in time. it's all gone, that place, that people, that feeling, it all doesn't have nothing to do with me. but the absence is still heavy. I know it gets better in time, the damage he created when he made me feel so rejected and lonely and abandoned. but it still hurts. it hurts like anhedonia. thanks for helping me process my pain trough that amazing and sensitive text.
ps: if I made any mistake, forbid me please, I'm from Brazil and English is my third language.
Thank you for writing this. What you shared is so raw and beautiful, it really moved me. That feeling of not wanting to go back, of knowing you made the right decision, and still carrying the ache of absence… it’s so real. Also, just so you know, Portuguese is actually my native language, so this is a soft space for you to express yourself in whichever language feels most comforting. You’re doing amazing, and I’m sending you so much love as you navigate this healing. Beijooo
this is exactly how I feel about someone I removed from my life nearly 2 years ago now. we never had a relationship to speak of but we had a connection, and we had intimacy, although it was very toxic at times. I still think about him from time to time, even though I have no desire to ever see or hear from him again. time doesn’t seem to change the way i feel about him and maybe it never will. i’ll always care a little bit. It’s so weird, thanks for putting this feeling into words in a way I couldn’t. 💞
I really feel that. Some people leave quietly but stay loud in our memories. It’s such a strange space to hold. Caring without craving closeness, remembering without reaching. I’m glad my words could speak to what’s been sitting silently with you. Thank you <3
came across this by accident and it touched a part of my heart that I was hiding and missing the words to explain. beautiful
Thank you so much. I'm really glad it found you at the right time <3
https://almubdieunn.com/
https://almubdieunn.com/
it feels so heavy and incomplete in a way and i find myself thinking about them more than i should, do i want to have what we used to? maybe but i think that this is better.
you have no idea how long i thought i was pathetic for feeling this way. knowing other people get it makes it feel a little less heavy. in my experience, i’ve come to realize this quiet distance might actually be better—softer, even if it stings sometimes.
I’ve never felt so seen by a post😭😭 a feeling that many don’t understand. A feeling that when expressed, it is met by assumptions that you miss or want that person back. Like no!! This person just has a deep absence in my life, it is such a strange space to be in when they pop into your head! I loved your use of the word static, that’s exactly what it is.
you get it. that exact feeling — the absence, not the longing. it’s so frustrating when people try to simplify it into ‘missing’ or ‘wanting them back’ when really, it’s just this weird emotional echo. i’m so glad the word static landed with you. thank you for this comment, i felt really seen in return ❤️
Yes, an emotional echo!
“It’s a strange kind of ego to assume your absence echoes in someone else’s world the way theirs does in yours.” Ow 💔💔
I really ate with that one huh 😭
you most definitely did😭
the echoes of what once was. not nostalgic, not grief. just presence.. quiet, sacred & final
I think what makes that silence so intimate is that you're only left with your memories of that person. With no contact or social media you have no new memories or even fragments of moments to see them in a new life. You can only expect them to feel the same way about you as you do about them, but left wondering if they really do.
Yes, that’s it. You’re suspended in this timeless version of them, untouched by change. And in that stillness, you can’t help but wonder if they’re also paused in the same place with you, or if they’ve quietly moved on. Thanks for reading :)
Wondering if they still do..
This so perfectly describes how I feel about my most relevant ex, someone who had been my best friend for ten years before we tried dating and absolutely destroyed each other's hearts in the process. In the past years I've watched him block me, unblock me, reblock me, etc. What I've found is that, with these kind of relationships where there's this heavy, enforced silence, there's often a lot of psychic connection. I know he has no way to know about me and I have no way to know about him, and I also know that when he comes to my mind out of the blue, I'm tapping into a channel of communication that still exists between us. A psychic one. A painfully intimate one. Like I'm feeling him thinking about me and vice versa.
In a world of so much stimulation and noise, silence the way you described it is a symbol for something that once existed very, very loudly. I love the way you wrote this and it found me in the perfect moment. Thank you!
I’m so glad the piece met you at the right time. Sending softness as you continue to hold (and release) whatever that relationship left behind. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment ❤️
Wow, I've never heard someone else talk about this before, but yes, that's soo true about that psychic connection. I'm having the most weird coincidences with the person I no longer talk to.
So poetic and raw. I know about the intimacy between a version you remember and kept them in your memory as a secret that makes you full. You mourn the future of the relationship/friendship not the present nor the past. That platonic intimacy of memory and a part in a time. So beautiful, thank you for sharing!
wow… this captures it perfectly. it’s not about mourning what was, but what could’ve been — the quiet intimacy of a memory that only exists in your heart. i’m so happy you liked it and left such an amazing comment. thank you.
The weird part is wanting to send them this… because what if they can relate
100% a valid take! Thank you for reframing silence as intimacy, this gives it a new lens that I’ve never considered before. I’m always in this limbo state of wondering about the other person more than I should be and I usually associate shame with it. This opens my eyes to how this is just another layer of intimacy that I’m experiencing, rather than the lack of in this stage of my life.
i’m so grateful that this perspective shifted something for you. silence really does hold its own kind of intimacy, not a lack, but a presence in its own way. thank you for letting me in on how this resonated for you.
Every time I feel just like this post the lyrics of a Taylor swift song echoes in my head, I can’t help but think if only between us did the love affair maim him too. This feeling eats me alive just because id like to know if he’s also feeling the depths of melancholy and intimacy by being apart from each other. I guess we’ll never know
That uncertainty is the cruelest part, isn’t it? Wondering if the ache is mutual or if you're dancing with ghosts alone. Some things stay unanswered but I think the depth of what you felt speaks volumes, even if they never do
https://almubdieunn.com/
thank you so much for writing this. I broke with my ex 3 months ago because he deeply broke my heart. and I don't miss him, I don't wanna talk to him, I don't wanna see him again, even though I don't hate him. but his absence still echoes in my life everyday. even though I feel and think I've made the right choice to live him because he didn't deserve all my love and devotion, when I sit at the sofa to watch an anime, I remember the time I loved him with all of my heart. i remember the way my heart used to smile everytime I looked him at the eyes and thought "you're mine. I love you so, my dear". I don't wanna move back in time. it's all gone, that place, that people, that feeling, it all doesn't have nothing to do with me. but the absence is still heavy. I know it gets better in time, the damage he created when he made me feel so rejected and lonely and abandoned. but it still hurts. it hurts like anhedonia. thanks for helping me process my pain trough that amazing and sensitive text.
ps: if I made any mistake, forbid me please, I'm from Brazil and English is my third language.
Thank you for writing this. What you shared is so raw and beautiful, it really moved me. That feeling of not wanting to go back, of knowing you made the right decision, and still carrying the ache of absence… it’s so real. Also, just so you know, Portuguese is actually my native language, so this is a soft space for you to express yourself in whichever language feels most comforting. You’re doing amazing, and I’m sending you so much love as you navigate this healing. Beijooo
diva! ganhou uma seguidora fiel
Beautifully written. This prompted me to dig into the archives and remember something I wrote a long time ago:
I have believed in ghosts
Since I was young
But as I grew older
I discovered a new species
The types of ghosts that exist
Prior to death
The ones that remain alive
and breathing
Similar to traditional ghosts
They too
May visit us
In our dreams
Because even though
These friendships
Left our lives
They are still very much
In our hearts and
On our minds
The length of bond
May have only lasted
A season
Or maybe even a few
But the ones
Who have made
An imprint
On our souls
Have the ability to
Haunt us with
Bittersweet memories
To last a lifetime
This was incredible writing.
Reminded me of that James Baldwin quote, “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.”
Thank you.
This is one of the best pieces I've ever read! Seriously, so beautifully written, it's incredible.
thank you so much, this means a lot 🥹
this is exactly how I feel about someone I removed from my life nearly 2 years ago now. we never had a relationship to speak of but we had a connection, and we had intimacy, although it was very toxic at times. I still think about him from time to time, even though I have no desire to ever see or hear from him again. time doesn’t seem to change the way i feel about him and maybe it never will. i’ll always care a little bit. It’s so weird, thanks for putting this feeling into words in a way I couldn’t. 💞
I really feel that. Some people leave quietly but stay loud in our memories. It’s such a strange space to hold. Caring without craving closeness, remembering without reaching. I’m glad my words could speak to what’s been sitting silently with you. Thank you <3